Good morning world

I have this itch to write today, thank God. Of course, as soon as I start writing, I forgot what I wanted to write about.

I wanted to talk about a few different things. First off, I want to talk about life struggles. It all started with a conversation I had with one of my best friends. We conversed about being misunderstood or misrepresented and the feeling of not belonging or straight-up being scapegoated for whatever reason. Unfortunately, these types of situations will happen for the best of humanity. People will assume what they want about you instead of asking for clarification. I am not above this either, but I am working on not being that type of person. Every single person is going through something, and everyone’s feelings are valid, however big or small they may be. Sometimes I can jump the gun and say that isn’t a big deal, but I stop myself because that isn’t a character trait I want to have within me. I have had moments where my feelings might have sounded dumb to someone, but they meant everything to me at that very moment. When someone would belittle my feelings, it made me feel worse. I try to be kind and compassionate to others and less judgmental. Sometimes I might not be in the mood to hear about someone else’s woes, which is perfectly okay then I just don’t ask. I have learned to mind my own business. I have learned that I don’t need to share my business with everyone. There is no need to overshare or be everyone’s best friend. I learned some of these lessons a long time ago, but they have been coming up again. I take pride in my small circle. They are good quality friends, and I am lucky. We have our ups and downs, but they are my family, and at the end of the day, they are just good people.

Good people. I want to really hold that thought for a second. What does it mean to be just “good people.” Most people aren’t good people or might be selective. To me, a good person has good morals and values no matter what. They are just good. They know wrong from right and try to live by those morals regardless of their faith, nationality, and so on. Are you a good person? There are so many that flaunt specific labels to make themselves look like they are “good people,” but are you really a good person with morals? Of course, being good is subjective and each person might have their own description of what a good person is but I think at the core of our souls, we all know what it means.

This takes me back to friends. I often give the advice “I will rather be by myself in solitude than be around not-so-good people.” There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. I rather protect my energy and wait for the right people to come into my life instead of being around folks that I don’t necessarily relate to because of their morals and values. That doesn’t mean I hate them, it just means that you are not for me, and that’s okay. I gave this advice to my best friend, but I also gave the advice to myself. Solitude is beautiful and I have had my share of moments in solitude to really turn off the noise around me and just be still. I needed it because I needed to remember who I was at the core of my existence. Humans are so easily persuaded by their own selves. It is so easy to self-sabotage. It is so easy to be influenced by friends and especially family but moments of solitude bring clarity, and focus and remind you of your core values.

Where do people get their morals and values? Some will say, “MY RELIGION.” Maybe there is some truth to that but our values start igniting as children where the concept of religion is usually lost upon a child. I would argue that, yes, religious beliefs play a factor, but it also has to do with who you are always around. That list might be long, but it can be simple too. Usually, it is your immediate family and your teachers from school. As an educator, making the decision between what is wrong or right between children is a constant situation. Children are just figuring it out. The concept of good and bad is in everything they do at school such as the books they are given to read or the media they are taking in or the conversations/situations they are in at school. Next, it’s about what is happening at home. Parenting doesn’t mean that the parents are raising the kids. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, or guardians might be raising the child. Good and bad are all around us child ran moment the child is conceived.

Sometimes humans like to be around things that might not be the best for them, but at least it is familiar and something they know. I have been making a conscious effort for the last couple of years to choose solitude then bad energy. It is a struggle because some of that bad energy is in my own home, and some of that bad energy is in me. I can have really depressing moments, but we all do. It is part of being human. I take it one day at a time.

I want to mention how challenging it is to work toward your passions. I have been working on a short film. Yep. You read that right. Frshta is attempting to make movies again. I have a script written and a small cast. I am creating a shot list and working on camera and mic equipment. Every step I take forward, I take like two steps back. I feel insecure and like I have no idea what I am doing. The sound is so important, and I am going to be shooting outdoors, and I am worried that it’s going to sound bad. I am using an iPhone camera, so I have to learn how to make the best use of it. It has been overwhelming but exhilarating. I have taken time to just let it sit and then pick it back up when I feel ready. I hope it actually happens, and it isn’t something that I don’t accomplish.

Next, I have been taking baby steps toward the coffee cart. I got the cart made and found suppliers, but now my biggest hurdle is getting past the health department. They are making things so hard. I have moments when I just want to give up, but I don’t. I just take some time to regroup or give it a break. I have been researching the coffee cart for years and need to make it happen whether I fail or not.

In other news, I started a new gym. I took a little break during the month of Ramadan and just stuck to taking short walks, but my mind was ready to jump into some type of workout as soon as Ramadan was over. I was feeling burnt out/ bored from my last workout plan. I was doing a walking/ strength training workout plan by Rachael Attard. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t consistent with the strength training. I was thinking about joining pilates, but I couldn’t find something in my price range. My best friend had joined a gym that she raved about. They had flexible timing for classes starting at 5am, and it’s close to my house. There are always two trainers on the floor guiding you and modifying the workout if need be. I was hesitant. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get back into that kind of training since my injuries from the last time I participated in that type of training. Still, I thought, I feel much better, and maybe I can tell them my situation and then go from there. Their price was the cheapest I have ever seen for unlimited group training. The catch is I have to sign up for a year which I am okay with because I like to commit. I decided to give it a try, and I enjoyed it. The workouts were intense. I was so sore the next day. The trainers were nice. I usually don’t like to work with male trainers, but these guys seemed nice and made me feel comfortable. I told them about my knees, hands, and wrist, which was not a problem for them at all. They have folks from all walks of life at their gym. I decided to join, and guess what…I am officially waking up early morning to hit the gym before work, and it has been really hard but nice. The best part is there is no specific gym time. I can come where ever I want as long as they are open. I stroll in between 7-7:30am, finish my workout in 35 minutes and then head to work. Don’t worry, I work on Zoom, so I am not too worried about what I look like or smell like. LOL So far, the convenience of it is great. It is literally five minutes from my job. Shout out to my bestie for encouraging me to join. Hopefully, it continues to be a wonderful experience that leads to great health. It has been a couple of weeks since I joined, and honestly, the workouts are really hard, and I don’t always want to go, but I do it anyways. I also plan to incorporate long walks or runs, but I have been so sore that I haven’t been able to achieve this goal yet. I have been doing my best to do a 30-minute walk most days.

Working out is great and it is beautiful to be able to move your body. I am so grateful since there was a time that I couldn’t even bend my knees. More than working out, though, I think eating a healthy diet makes me feel so good. It makes my body and mind feel so healthy and strong. When I eat healthily, my brain feels amazing. When I eat junk, I can feel my mood come down because I am disappointed in myself. I give props to the WHOLE30 for this new mindset. The WHOLE30 made me pay attention to what I am putting into my body and has educated me in just food. Since Ramadan has ended, I have tried a modified version of the WHOLE30, but I plan on getting stricter with myself. I want to have wiggle room to enjoy fun food once in a while. I want the WHOLE30 to be a lifestyle and not something I just do for 30 days, although I might do that once a year just to reset. Overall, my diet has been pretty great and the wiggle room has been great. I had a vegetarian cauliflower pizza last night with spicy marinara, no cheese, and it was amazing! It was the best pizza I have ever had. It is amazing how my body or my mind doesn’t even crave the traditional form of pizza anymore. I had Mac and cheese for lunch yesterday, but it was the Goodles version which is protein noodles. I had a serving, and it was good enough for me. Those aren’t WHOLE30 approved, but they are still healthy options. I mostly stay away from processed food and gearing towards whole food, and I love it. I crave healthy, delicious foods. My favorite is homemade carne asada. SO GOOD.

Cheers,

Frshta