I haven’t written The Frshta Show blog in a while. I stopped because I felt like my content was very negative. It wasn’t that I fell off the horse. I just got tired of hearing myself and reading my words. The moment I stopped writing the blog, things started shifting for me for the better. I’m not sure what the blog had to do with any of it, but I feel this resistance and fear of writing the blog now. It’s silly. Many great things happened to me during the second half of 2023. My life changed. I changed. I remember feeling in June 2023 that this was my comeback year, but I was scared to say it out loud. Furthermore, I was afraid of falling on my face like I have so many times before I was afraid of the confidence I was feeling, and I am well aware that things can change in seconds. But, I felt it in my bones that I was going to finally get out of my very long rut, even though I had no proof other than my gut feeling.

It makes me very sad to think that a blog I started so passionately to share my feelings might be taboo. I’m starting to feel like does anybody even read my work? I’ve been writing for so long now, and I barely get any views. It wasn’t about the views. It was more like do my words even matter. I felt insignificant. My writing brings out a dark side in me. So I stopped writing, and I haven’t written much since I stopped writing the blog. I had moments where I felt inspired, but I couldn’t get myself to write. I feel like I’ve lost those moments. The worst part is I have no documentation of the last six months and all the changes I’ve been through. It was a life-changing six months, and although I accomplished many long-term goals, It was also a very tough six months at the same time.

I’m on the other side now, I feel at peace and I feel free. I feel free from myself. I feel free from my own expectations. I am not sure what I am going to do next. I am going to let God lead me. Not only that, but I have no plans to put another burden on myself like I did the last ten years. I just want to live. It’s like a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders, and I am so grateful.

For the first time in over a decade, I can silence my mind. I can just sit quietly and actually experience silence.

I do miss writing. I want to write again. I would like to finish Bla Bla Land. I would like to just have fun and get creative. Not sure how yet. I have been thinking about writing a musical or taking some singing lessons. I just want to go back to things that bring me joy.

More than anything, the feeling of peace I am feeling is amazing. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you Bob for inspiring me to write again. I am glad someone noticed my absences.

Cheers,

Frshta