The first time I ever saw my eldest brother drinking was a shock to me. I idealized him and it broke my heart. I even cried about it because it scared me. He was never a heavy drinker but it would get worse. My brother was the American dream. He was an immigrant and worked…
#50 Fourth of July
Fourth of July has always been a strange holiday for me. My brother Yama, was born on July 3. Every year, we celebrated his birthday on the fourth of July. I remember one of his last birthdays, my sister and I got his some finches. We got him a huge cake. When we were younger,…
#49 empty words
It has been hard to write lately. I am not sure why. I do know that I feel like a lack of audience or audience interaction does affect my motivation. When people engage or there are a lot of views, it makes me want to write more and it makes me want to connect. Also,…
#48 Grumpy
I woke up to dark cloud outside of my window. I really wanted to see the sun. I woke up with my legs and feet aching. I was in a bad mood. I am not sure why. Grouchy and grumpy like the Grinch. I spent most of the day being a bad mood. Then I…
#47 Checkpoints
Sobriety Checkpoints I just saw someone post online that on some L.A. street there is a check point and to be careful. She put an annoyed face emoji because apparently checkpoints upset her. She also said "urg their back again." So I am confused about why this annoyed her. But, she isn't the first to…
#46 Purpose
Purpose Let’s talk about purpose. I have had this empowering epiphany about life. I am not sure where this came from. It just happened. I have been writing on this blog how I had moments of extreme depression or sadness because my friend Tracy claims that I am not classified as a depressed person. But…
#45 Disco
Most would say that I am not a huge music person because I don't know the name of every artist or song. But, when I was around eight years old, my brother got me a Walkman. Remember those? I could only listen to the radio on it. Every night at 9pm, I would listen to…
#44 Skinny
I sent a selfie to a friend today who commented that I am looking thin. My heart raced. How I long to regain the confidence that thin frshta use to have. Skinny Frshta was a dare devil. Her outer beauty ignited her inner beauty leaving other in awe of her beautiful energy that showed off…
#43 Faith
Yesterday was an emotional day for me. I felt Allah with me throughout the day. My day consisted of highs and lows. God was with me throughout all of these moments. There were moments where I felt so incredibly weak. I kept praying to Allah to please help me. There was confirmation that Allah was…
#42 Dear God
Dear God, My name is Frshta but I know you already know this. God I know I have sinned. I know that I don’t pray five times a day or cover up like I should. But, God I ask for your forgiveness. I ask for you to bring my heart closer to you. Give me…
The Frshta Show 