The sound of the rain is hitting the roof and I hear the puddles of water dripping down. It is beautiful. I went swimming tonight after work, and I was welcomed with an empty pool. It was a bit eerie. I jumped into the water to do my twenty minutes of working out and imagined an ominous creature coming after me! I know…strange. I am a horror fan.
I have been feeling so many different emotions, yet it is so challenging putting them into words. I have spent the last week and a half thinking about my last blog of 2021. I wanted to make it special and reflect on this past year. Every time I tried to write, I wouldn’t know where to start. In my head, it seemed easy, but putting it into words has been challenging. Instead, I wanted to write about the new telescope out in space (FYI I love space).
Anyways, here I go……
This is hard…
I spent the year working my butt off and wanting to purchase a condo. That was a fail with these prices going skyrocket. I started working conventions, which has brought me so much joy. I started a new hobby…sewing! This year was a growth year for me in terms of being an educator. I feel more secure than I have ever had as a teacher. I am excited to start teaching college classes hopefully next year. I worked Summer school for the first time ever! I learned more about being a business owner and tried to figure out if it’s something I can do. I am still working on it. I spent the Summer working with Joanna, a woman I look up to. I love everything about her soul. I attended therapy consistently and worked on myself. I wrote one blog each week, which was my New Years’ resolution! YAY! I am very proud of myself. I spent a lot of time and money at Joanna’s Fabric store. I learned about fabric and made pants, pillows, and tote bags! Also, I have attempted to make shirts and skirts! Oh, I finally watched Friends from the very beginning. I watched a lot of shows though. I went to a private screening for some filmmakers that I look up to! I interviewed for Disney and I didn’t get the job but who cares? I was considered and that is badass! I played video games! Street Fighters and Dead by Daylight! I’ve always been a Super Mario Bros gal so Dead by Daylight was very different. I can’t wait for the new Evil Dead game coming out! I spent a lot of time with my chickens and pigeons. I spent two weeks being without a car, which was horrible. I bought a new car, which was also stressful. A lot happened, and I am just touching the surface.
You know, a thought just dawned on me. The world can seem pretty dark sometimes, and people can be mean. I was once this happy-go-lucky type of gal, and I have changed. I use to love, but now I fear loving people. I don’t mean romanticly, I mean just in general. I miss who I was. I want to work on finding that part of me again but a healthier version of it. A version that I respect, appreciate, and adore because that’s what matters. I miss having friends. I don’t have much anymore. The older I get the harder it is and it might be hard. Next week, I will expand on this because it will be a new years resolution. Anyways, my point here was that I have a few amazing people on my side and I am grateful. They believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself. These folks make me want to open myself up to the world again because yeah…I’ve meant some jerks but gosh I’ve meant some guardian angels too. I don’t think these folks know what they mean to me. Thank you for the emails, texts, and well wishes. Thanks for thinking of me.
It has been a rough year for all of us. I try looking at the positive to keep my spirits up. So many people lost people they love from deadly illnesses. People I love were affected by this and I know what that feels like. There are really no words that make it better. Just keep going. Keep trying to make the world a better place because I think that’s what God wants from us. To just try and be good and bring good to others. So, keep your head up, everyone.
Alright, next week, I will address my new year goals.
Happy Almost New Years everyone! Please be safe! I am excited for 2022! More on that next week!
Thank you for reading everyone! It brings so much joy to me knowing that my writing is being read.