“If you don’t control your emotions, it will be manipulated against you. You got to train your mind to be stronger than your feelings, or else you’ll lose every single time.”

Do you agree with this quote? Should our lives lie in the hands of our minds or our feelings?

This quote made me feel like I was doing life all wrong. It was interesting when I came across it. I was contemplating a similar idea but this quote summed up my thoughts. It explained my feelings. Have I been doing life wrong this whole time?

A coworker of mine, at the restaurant, explained to me that she married twice in her life, but she was never in love with her spouse. She made the smart choice when choosing a partner. It had to be someone that checked all her boxes. She didn’t marry for love. I asked her if she was ever in love, and she said yes, but it didn’t work out.

In my culture, no one is supposed to marry for love. Back in Afghanistan, marriages are arranged for many reasons. A young women’s father picks her life partner based on his parameters. Arranged marriages are common in different cultures. In the western world, it sounds ludicrous. What about love, lust, and passion? How can you spend your life with someone you don’t even know? One can argue, well, doesn’t your father know what is best for his daughter? There is something so unromantic about arranged marriages. In the western world, we grew up watching love stories like The Notebook and were inspired to have a love like Noah and Alley. A love so powerful that it was felt by the entire world even if they were continents apart. But, is that the right choice? Alley’s parents wanted her to marry someone suited for their daughter. Were her parents wrong? If I had a child, I would want my children to marry someone that is best suited for them in every single way.

So why then, are we told to silence our feelings and let the mind take over? If we are to be practical, then all of our great love stories have been bullshit.

I have been reflecting on my life choices lately. Although I used love as an example, I have been reflecting on my career choice. I wanted to use love as an example because I wanted you to understand what I am trying to say. We all love and love is relatable. Therefore, I think it’s the perfect example.

Again, I have been reflecting on my choices. Should I have stayed at the job longer ? Should I have taken that other job even though I knew the pay sucked ? Should I have made more connections? Should I have been a film major instead of communication? Should I have worked harder? Why did you focus five years of your life on a toy store when you should have been networking at college? Should I have been more social ?

So many whys and shoulds. There is no point in dwelling and I’m not dwelling. I just wanted to reflect so that I can make better choices in the future.

Am I exactly where I’m suppose to be? Is this suppose to be my path or is this just a result of my choices?

In my household, everyone is always says “what’s meant to happen will happen.” There all these examples my family likes to share about folks who didn’t try at life at all but succeed. They also mention the folks that did try and failed because it wasn’t meant to be.

I am trying to establish a healthy relationship with my mind, and my feelings. I don’t want to rely only on my feelings or only on my mind. It’s really hard to establish boundaries between these two powerful entities. The struggle is real. I think learning how to stay calm is important. In the past, it has been hard to think critically because I was clouded by emotions. When I am nervous, scared, uncomfortable or angry, I tend to shake and slur my words. I know I need to work on staying calm because things happen.

I don’t know. I just want to try my best to be the best version of myself. Honestly, I feel like I have more to write on this topic but it’s already so long.

I am reading more about mental health. Let’s see where it takes me.

I want to conclude with this thought. Tonight, I stood in a corner at my serving job and I watched all these folks have dinner. one of my customers was a little looney. I was trying to figure out why because they only had one class of wine. My coworker mentioned that maybe it was some type of pill they took. At this point, we were just speculating. Still, I thought about all the people out there who addicts to food, drugs, alcohol, sex and so on. I thought about all the unhappy people but then I thought aren’t we all unhappy? Aren’t we all just a bunch of unhappy people trying our best to find happiness. We’re always searching. Our souls are yearning for purpose yet we’re all empty inside. Everyone tries to fill their void differently. Some are healthy coping mechanism and some not so much.

Thoughts and opinions are welcome.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Frshta

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