Dear God,

I need to express myself and it is easiest through writing right now. My fingers ache, my legs ache and my lower back aches. My eyes feel strained and my face feels stiff. I am tired. The last three days have been wild. LAUSD started on Monday. My first assignment is a first grade class for the first week. Let me tell you it have been atrocious. I keep having to remind myself that they are six. The last two nights at the restaurant have been extremely busy. We had so many guests out of no where and there was only two of us. The money is nice but honestly, money comes and goes. I prefer quieter nights where I can get to know my guests and give good service.

Tonight, Norma (an older women) came in without her husband. I asked her how Roger is since he has been having some health problems. She looked at me and said he passed away on the twenty Fourth of July. My eyes filled with tears. Roger was one of my first guest at this restaurant. He owned a company that produced star wagon trailers or something like that. He would always tip me twenty to thirty dollars and on one occasion he tipped me seventy five dollars to spite his wife. Norma and Roger never got along. They would argue a lot and they didn’t seem like they liked each other. Roger was always kind to me. He never liked his food. He said packing up food and taking it home is for poor people. He never asked for the name of the wine but said give me the more expensive one. I am sure he had a hell of a life. He was wealthy and arrogant but he was nice to me. Rest In Peace Roger.

Coffee dates with friends

God, my Summer was special and I wanted to write about it and honor the memories and of course thank you for a good Summer. I started off the Summer celebrating my 30th birthday. I spent the entire month celebrating being 30 years on this planet. Thank you again for this blessing. For July, I was lucky enough to work Summer school and make a decent amount of money for a surprisingly easy gig. Thank you for giving me a break God. I spent time with my pets. What a joy it was. I spent time with family, friends and my baby nephew. I was lucky enough to hit the gym and work out almost twice a day. Man I loved hitting the gym and the luxury of taking my time was amazing. The last two weeks of Summer have been so much fun. I celebrated my best friend’s birthday. We watched the 40th anniversary of Tron at the El Captain and I would just like to say Hollywood Blvd sucks. We had Patys and dinner with friends. We had homemade nachos and burritos and played Magic the gathering. We went to the beach and sun bathed. We played in the water which I never do. Geez God. Your world is so beautiful. We had hot dogs at this place called Barneys. It was cheap and huge, To top it off, Kym from work, got us Magic Castle tickets for the first time ever. I have been trying to take my best friend there forever like literally for years. I could never get an invite. I did one time but I didn’t realize at the time what the Magic Castle even was. LOL Anyways, it was unusual and great. I was not happy about being back in Hollywood but it was worth it. I didn’t feel beautiful even though I wore my mother’s fancy dress and had my hair done. I felt huge and insecure. The castle was magical, spooky and dark. There was this energy and it felt very elite. Everyone knew each other. We saw a small show at the cellar, which was fun. We had a really expensive and unsatisfying dinner. Seriously, the food sucked. Sorry Magic Castle. Then we saw a couple more shows. I felt claustrophobic during the main show. We were watching the Max from Saved by the Bell or his real name is Alonzo. I actually have seen his show before at Scarela. It was a lot of fun. I want to go back but preferably not spend money on the food. Thanks for the experience God. Such a special moment. I might never get to go again but at least I marked it off my bucket list. I wondered about the history of the place. There was so many people with drinks and here I was watching everyone. Also, the chefs at work made me a new bird coop!

New bird coop from my restaurant family.

God, this week has been so hard. Yesterday, I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest because of how stressed and overwhelmed I felt. I feel better today but my chest still feels tight. Still, God, thank you for the people around. Thank you for my parents. I spent twenty minutes today talking to the chef at work about how special our parents are. Thank you God for my mom and dad. God bless them. I overheard my mom tell my eighteen month old nephew, lets pray because God will help us with our troubles. It was a beautiful moment. Gosh, I have the best mom. God give me the tools to give her everything and to be a great daughter to her. I love her God. I love my dad too. God, give us more time together, please. Keep them healthy. Keep us healthy. I found a small bump on my neck, I hope its just a knot. God, all the moments this week I felt defeated, I tried my best to think of you. I prayed for patience and strength. God, help me with my troubles because my mom said you help us with all our troubles. God, you know I have been trying to purchase a condo for so long. I have been saving for twelve years now. I work these jobs to keep saving and to qualify for a loan. It isn’t much money but I do my best to save. God, help me with this goal. It doesn’t to be huge. Just a place I can call my own. I love living at home but sometimes I need my space. I want it to be close to my moms’s place so I can come and go all the time. I want to be there for her because she is always there for me. I want to be close to my pets that need to stay at my mom’s place. I want to live somewhere that is safe to walk around and a Trader Joe’s. I want a place with some cute restaurants that I can walk to. I want to work at Trader Joe’s or a coffee shop while I write my book or plan my road map to opening my own business. I want to travel with my friends, and family. I want to enjoy my time on your Earth God but only if you will it.

God, thank you for everything. I love you. So much. I just want to say that the sky is so beautiful God so beautiful.

I love you God,


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