I had a dream about my brother, Yama, a couple of days ago. It was such a strange dream. Somedays, it makes me really sad the thought of never seeing my family again. What I mean is in the afterlife. What if we never see each other again and none of this matters? It pains me and makes me cling to my loved ones in these unhealthy attachments. I’ve always had this problem even before my brother, Yama, died. I am not sure where it stems from. On other days, I feel fully confident that I will see the people I care for in the afterlife because I am a Muslim and we believe in heaven and hell.
Now let me tell you about my dream. I was walking on a sidewalk in a neighborhood that I had never seen before. I turned a corner and there was this house with a big tree over it. There was a blue van there that was identical to the one my father had when we were growing up. The door would always fall off. The van I remember was pretty old and beat up but this van looked the same on the outside but the interior was different. It had leather seats that adjusted to your body composition. In those seats were my brother Yama and a younger version of my dad with a full head of curly black hair and a full beard. They were fixing the car. I looked at Yama and I said “what are you doing here?” He said, “what do you mean?” I told him, “You died from alcoholism.” He looked at me and said “ I am not dead. I am alive. “ I said, “No, you died Yama.”
“Let me show you my life,” he said. The scene changed. I was on a staircase in a two-story house with Yama. He said, “This is my house” as he led me upstairs to show me his home. While I was there, I felt the energy of children but I didn’t see them. He had a family and he was showing me his family.
I woke up.
Was this Yama showing me his life in the afterlife? Is his soul still living on? Was it another dimension?
I have always wondered where Yama’s soul is or if it still exists. I wonder if he is preparing everything in the other life for when we all finally get there.
What are your thoughts? What is after this life?
On a side note, it was 110 degrees today and it will continue to be scorching hot in L.A. for the next week.
Something interesting that happened this past week is I worked at my first convention called Power Morphicon. I attended Coffee Fest LA.
At PMC, I was suppose to be the assistant floor manager but no one knew who I was so it was frustrating but it was cool. Easy and fun but I am not sure if I should keep volunteering. I feel like I am to old to work for free and what is my actual goal with working conventions? I am not sure.
Coffee fest la was disappointing.