Describe the last difficult “goodbye” you said.

Yesterday, I was driving to work, and a thought came into my mind. My mother commented the day before about some women in our extended family. She mentioned that they are very much “Afghani” women and are not trying to act American. I was confused by her comment even though I understood what she meant. Am I acting American? Am I supposed to be more Afghani? How do I do that when I loathe many aspects of my parents’ culture. Am I considered garbage to the Afghani community, which includes my mother? How does she feel about me? Am I acting “American” in her eyes as well as others? Lately, my personality has been judged by my family. My siblings have commented on how I am so “political.” What does that even mean? My sister and I argued tonight because she said, “we all have a temper; we get it from our dad…when I get mad… I say horrible things.” I couldn’t take it anymore. I explained to her that she and the rest of our siblings keep making excuses for their own crappy characteristics, and they have no growth at all. I walked away feeling frustrated, angry, and greatly misunderstood. There was no point in continuing to argue with her. She does not listen and only loves the sound of her own voice. The millions of excuse that she makes for herself is unbelievable. I feel myself branching out from my family. I have been feeling distant for a while, but lately, I feel it even more. Our personalities are so different. Sometimes it makes me sad because I want to bond with my siblings, but we are so different. I am starting to realize that I have no room for toxic people in my life, even if it is my own family. The issue is I live with them. I guess they might think I am garbage, but it is important to stay true to God and myself. I know I am a good person. I just want peace for me, and all the people love. To answer the question, lately, I have had to say goodbye to different versions of myself that aren’t suiting the new and improved versions. It has been challenging but vital in order to grow. Tonight, I decided to say my peace, but also, I learned when to walk away. There is no point in continuing to argue.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s