Let me get this out even if it makes no sense at all.

First, it takes more fucking guts to tell someone the truth than to sugar coat something. It shows you care when you tell some one the honest truth then some catalog bull shit that I can read right through.

I use to work for a five syndicated court shows back in 2016. It was my first real job in Hollywood. Well, the first job I actually got paid for. I got the job through an old friend/teacher, Eric, who introduced me to the director of the show, Dean.

Dean and I had lunch at Century City Mall at some Mexican place. I don’t remember the name. It was Pink something and at the time I didn’t know he didn’t care for Mexican food..whoops. He taught me things that have stuck in my brain. He liked me and told the producer that she must hire me and she did.

Throughout my time there, I would head into the director’s area and watch dean work. He recommended that I did that.

Our first week of shooting, he took the entire crew out for dinner and drinks. I don’t drink so he bought me a coca cola.

After I left that gig…we kept in touch somewhat. He always loved my work habit and always says that I pick things up real fast.

He invited me to an Asian film festival, where his short film premiered. It was called First World Problems. Here is the trailer. It was a great short and it has done very well. Honestly, the best feeling in the world is when a good person succeeds even though he tells me not to word it that way lol.

So we had coffee on Monday and he wanted to know what has been going on. I told him the quick version…like has chewed me up and spit me back out. I told him its a mans world, I don’t want to be that person that changes the world because I don’t think I am that person, I don’t him about the desk jobs, the PA jobs and the teaching jobs. I told him I stopped looking for entertainment work and I moved on.

But, I also told him that I still want to be creative on my own terms. I want to create still but I just don’t have that motivation and it just hurts to much.

He asked what was friends about…and I said a group of friends and he said no. It is about a new generation of kids doing way less work then their parents. That made complete sense…it summed up the entire experience of that show.

He said, okay are you done telling me how much it sucks? yes…okay your on a mat…now get up. Get over it and never ever say its a man’s fucking world again because that is obvious and yeah, it sucks but everyone knows that already. Don’t worry about fixing it for the world just do what you have to do. Focus on the stories you want to tell. You literally just need to make something and get into the nine biggest film festivals and that is it after that. Only a few people have told me that it hurts them and those people have done amazing things.

I wasn’t prepared for this conversation with Dean. I felt like my words weren’t coming out right and my thoughts were jumbled up. I wasn’t focused and I haven’t been in that head space for a while.

He also encouraged me to look at the positive in anything I do because once again life is about perspective.

He said I should have an idea in two weeks and to get it to him…whoa.

He asked if he was do harsh and I said no way. I respect your words and I appreciate your honesty.

Thanks you Dean.


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