It’s been hard to blog the last couple of days. I usually aim for three a week but last week I settled for two. I was extremely tired and I was very present in my everyday life. I tried to write many times …I even have a whole draft about how I had a good night sleep lol but I didn’t post it …didn’t seem like a good piece to post. I do want to write more about news articles, reviews on films or foods and really delve into some past memories. My blog has become more of a place I share my feelings or like a self help blog. Lol that’s okay but I would love dive into that other stuff too. Bare with me…hopefully I find my balance eventually.

The last couple days I’ve been pondering about having a stable job vs chasing a dream job.

For how long do you chase a dream? It is said a plan B is setting up for failure but sometimes things don’t work out even if you work really hard at it. So when do you throw in the towel?

I am at that crossroads right now.

I have options for my nexts steps towards a teaching career. I could start taking the appropriate testing for a full time teaching credential so that I could have my own classroom. If I have my own classroom for five years..I could move up to administration which requires some classes as well. I could try getting certification from two different programs so that I could teach adult school or English language learners.

All of these options require an investment in my time and my money. In the long run, it will pay off and I would have a stable career.

I could keep saving money as a substitute and a server….enough to open my own tea business someday. But, I have been feeling less passionate about this. The last person I interviewed shared a different side of the business for me and I think it just rubbed me the wrong way. He was in a lot of debt and I don’t want to be in debt. But, a business requires money and I’m not well off. To be honest it seems like a huge commitment and I don’t know if I want to invest everything I have in a business without the guarantees of success. There are so many coffee/ tea shops. So I’m not sure about this either.

Next, make films and try to take it to festival. If you have something amazing then maybe I will get noticed. what if I don’t ?

It’s all a risk. Sometimes I say fuck it …why fake life so seriously …just do what you want to do …you fail …well, then you fail. It’s not the end…just pick up and try again.

But, other times …I dream of a house and a big yard for all my animals to live on. I dream of traveling and seeing the wonders of the world.

But, I also want a passionate life. A life that helps others and I want a job that exercises my brain and challenges me.

So now what? Maybe I can just keep doing what I’m doing and call it a day?

I don’t know but I’m not stressing about either. Sometimes I want to work towards all of these aspirations. At the same time…each one of these paths requires dedication and commitment like no other. So I really can’t do both until I’ve made it in at least one industry.

Thoughts? Advice? Nothing I already know though. Lol

Have a great day!


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