Like my girl Taylor Swift sang “I’m feeling twenty two”
In my mind, there was so much I wanted to mention for the first post of 2022. I wanted to talk about all my hopes and dreams for this year. Tonight, as I write, fog is present in my head. I can’t think straight or remember what my goals were. At the same time, I don’t want to put pressure on myself by making a long list and not accomplishing anything.
It is a big year for me. I am turning thirty in June, and I have all types of feelings about this. I still have six months in my twenties, but I can’t help but feel like I am running out of time. I should have it all figured out by now, but I don’t. I was thinking of the past when women would take care of the kids, and the husband would work. It’s rare for a family to have this type of lifestyle now because it has become so difficult to sustain a household with one income. I wouldn’t want to stay at home to take care of children, but it’s interesting how much life has changed.
On that note, I had this strange dream. In the dream, there was a type of fog and I couldn’t see anything. It looked like I was in my car during a car wash, but my car was full of fog. That is the best description I can come up with. Nothing was happening in my dream. It was just these strong emotions. I had lost all my passions and I felt empty. My life felt purposeless and boring. I was so bored in my dream. This dream made me realize something. I love to work. I love it so much. I love putting my heart and soul into something I believe in. I try to find purpose in everything I do. I am grateful for my scattered passions, and even though I never know what direction I should be heading. What would my life be if I didn’t have all of these dreams? I wouldn’t know how to live. I enjoy being the underdog because success will taste that must sweeter. Plus, I am a huge Rocky fan. I use to watch Rocky films all the time with my brothers when it was on cable. His story makes me feel. Anyways, so I thank God for instilling this drive in me. There have been so many moments that I prayed for God to take away my dreamer mentality because it just hurt too much. I am sure glad God didn’t listen.
One aspect of my life that I wanted to work on this year is making friends. I have the worst track record with friends. My therapist and I have talked about my friend troubles and were still not finished talking about them. I thought this year I could work on this but it is so hard for me to trust people. So before I can make any new friends, I need to work on letting go of past wounds so I can have healthier friendships. I am ready for this. Honestly, I don’t mind doing things on my own but I am excited to be working on this and I am excited for new future friends!
Alright, I plan on releasing another excerpt of my life on the blog this year called Blah Blah Land. I am not sure how I am going to do it yet but watch out for it!
Other goals for the year?
There are too many but more than anything… I just want to be healthy and happy. I want to have fun. I want to go to the movies and feel inspired. I want to laugh until it hurts. I want to create meaningful things. I want to be a part of something special. I want to feel free and I want to feel all of life’s possibilities.
Good health for everyone in the world.
I welcome 2022 with open arms.
Cheers to 2022,