The first time I went to Pasadena Convention Center was for a robot convention called Bot Con. You know when that feeling that you have found some place so cool and rare? That’s how I felt about Pasadena. I didn’t leave the valley much and I had only been driving for a couple of years. Pasadena was an adventure for me. I know it sounds silly that a twenty-minute drive from the San Fernando Valley would be exciting for me but it was. I loved Pasadena and its history. One of my favorite films, Halloween, was filmed there. I loved how they had cobblestone alleys filmed with unique restaurants. I enjoyed my little trips to Pasadena.

Each time I drove down the 134 freeway towards Pasadena, I would be right by the Colorado blvd exit, and I would pass by this beautiful bridge. I would always make a mental note of the bridge and it was one of the ways that I knew I was going in the right direction. I didn’t always have a proper GPS.

As I grew older, I started to hear how the Pasadena bridge is world-famous and that it was called the suicide bridge. I have googled the bridge many times and I’ve read about some of the events. I have mentioned the bridge about a million times to my best friend each time we drove out there to hang out or to a convention. We kept saying that we would walk the bridge one day.

Recently, my best friend took a stance that we would go soon. We always joke that I have super powers when it comes to feeling the unknown because of some strange events. I think my best friend is the only one that believes me because it’s happened a lot when we’re hanging out.

We decided to finally visit the famous Colorado street bridge. Another friend had just mentioned that the real paranormal activities happen below the bridge where the victims would fall to their death. I’ve always hated bridges. I get nervous driving on the freeway bridges and even more nervous when I walk underneath one. I guess I have a bridge phobia. Walking on the bridge, I noticed a metal fence that was put up to prevent suicide. There were locks on the bridge that people had put on there. Towards the end of the bridge, there was flowers and note from a family member which was really heart-wrenching. I didn’t feel anything at first on the bridge but natural eerieness from knowing its history. At the end of the bridge, I started to feel my fingers tingle. We kept walking and looking for a way to get below the bridge. I didn’t want to be there anymore but at the same time, I did. I said a little prayer before heading back to the car to find the hiking trail to get below the bridge. My mind started spiraling.

We found the entrance to the hiking trail. I kept wondering how do people hike under here knowing the sad history behind the bridge. It was strange to me that I saw families hiking underneath the bridge. The hike to the bridge was quick. We stood underneath as the sun was setting.

I felt depressed. I felt despair. The feelings were familiar because I have felt them before. I was having a great day but out of nowhere I started feeling really down. It was strange how strong the feeling was. I wanted to leave. Underneath the bridge, there were a lot of trees and bushes. It was eerie. We headed back. On the drive back, we even found a park underneath the bridge where families were having picnics. The whole area had this sad energy. I just felt so depressed. I felt it all over me. I feel it now too. It’s like this heaviness on my body. My head feels lighter but I feel every heavy below my neck like I have this weight on my shoulders. I don’t know if I did this to myself or if I was feeling the dark energy that exists from the history of the bridge.

I googled the bridge later on and read more about the history. Even before the bridge was built in 1913, there were indigenous people living there and passed on. There was also a place called the devil’s gate where a bunch of dark things happened. I’m going to link the article that explains the entire history.

It’s insane how much history this area has. I guess the whole world has a history all around it. Maybe it’s better if some of that history is unknown? It helps create a new legacy in some dark places. The bridge was in one of my favorite films, La La Land but I didn’t feel excited about being there. I just felt darkness. I didn’t even take a photo. I wondered if its dark history would lure those who were suffering to the bridge. Was it an ancient curse that the land has? I don’t know but I wanted to leave. I rather admire the bridge from the 134 freeway as I have for years. I don’t wish to explore it anymore. I was a little upset with myself. I knew the bridge would bring some type of emotion out of me but I didn’t expect it to be this bad. I put myself in a dark place by going there. I’ve been feeling positive and hopeful and after the bridge, I just felt like life was dark and hopeless. It’s a horrible feeling. I feel like I need to cleanse myself from that whole energy.

I’ve had times where I’ve been really sad but I know that no feeling is permanent. Therefore suicide has never crossed my mind as bad as it has gotten. I pray for all of those suffering. I don’t know how to help or what to say to help but I know what makes me feel better when I’m down is that I will feel something different soon. Sadness doesn’t last. There is joy and peace. Just find the energy to look for it. I try to find joy every day in my pets, relationships, and more. Some days just seeing the sun is a blessing for me. Feeling such an extreme emotion today made me thankful for not feeling that way. I am thankful for feeling happiness and for the little things that keep me going. I appreciate every moment of happiness. Let’s bring more kindness, gratitude and happiness to the world. Positivity is one of my goals.

Thanks for reading and sorry I didn’t take pictures at the bridge. It just didn’t feel right. It felt like I was disrespecting those that lost their life. I simply googled an image for my readers.



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