Good Evening friends,
It is past my supposed bedtime. I always sleep too late and then I am exhausted in the mornings. I am sleepy but I must write this blog.
The video I shared is from Nouman Ali, and this video fed my soul. My spirit needed to be fed and this helped immensely. How do you feed your soul? I know it sounds silly, but the way we feed our bellies, our soul needs feeding too. I couldn’t help but feel small after listening to this lecture. The bigger picture is so grand and I am a freckle amongst this higher purpose. I wish I had more Muslim friends so I could share this video with them. Honestly, anyone can listen to it but I know most people will shy away from it if it’s not their faith, which I respect. I can’t exactly explain how this lecture affected me but there were many tears. There were many moments after the lecture that I pondered about this lecture and I just cried. Even now, tears fill my eyes. I can’t explain it. It’s just this powerful feeling in my soul and I don’t know what to do with it other than to express gratitude to God.
This week I keep thinking about how short life is. I don’t know how much time I have left with the people I love. They can die or I can die. So every day, as tired as I am, I thank God for another day with the people I love. Gosh, I love my mom. I pray that I can work less some days so I can take her on vacation. She deserves the world. Most moms are amazing. Some days, my days are so long, that I just yearn to see my mom. I miss her. I have this anxiety that I am not going to see her again or that I don’t have enough time left with her. My mom is sixty. I know it’s silly but it’s my anxiety. To add to my anxiety, recently, my mom tells me what to do with her belongings just in case she passes away. She doesn’t know it but I am freaking out on the inside. I told her “mom, your healthy, don’t worry about that now,” but she said, “you never know.” Life is fleeting. I try to cut the loops that run around in my brain. I am working on it and I have improved. I think that’s all God wants from us. Not perfection but to try and improve. To be the best version of myself. It is so hard though but I am proud of my progress. I am proud of myself for working on my shortcomings. May God bless my mom with a long healthy life and when it is her time, may the gates of heaven open for her.
Last week was a very challenging week. I am proud of myself for getting through it. Thank you to those who reached out and checked up on me. If you only knew how much it means to me. No words can express my gratitude. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
This is a short blog but I am going to try and write the blog earlier in the week so it can be better quality. Thanks so much, everyone for reading and being here. God bless.