This is a catch-up post.
Yesterday, September 20,2022 at 9:57am, my niece was born. Her name is Yasna. What a blessing she is. So many different emotions honestly, but overall, it was a special day. I met her today. She is perfect.
Being an aunt has been a such blessing. It has made me think about my own relationships with my aunts and uncles. I am not close to them. Let me explain, I use to see them all the time as a kid but I never felt close to any of them. I didn’t have this great bond. My dad’s side of the family all stayed in Afghanistan so I never met any of his side of the family. My mom’s side is all a twenty-minute drive away. Now as an adult, I respect my Uncle Azzim and we have somewhat of a relationship. In my culture, the kids are supposed to respect and somewhat fear the elderly so maybe that’s why I never felt bonded with them. My older siblings have more of a relationship with our uncles and aunt but maybe it’s because they were the first.
I hope I have a bond with my nephew and my niece. I hope it’s special.
In other news, I am in the mood to spend money that I shouldn’t be spending. I want to go shopping, eat out and just spend money. I have spent so many years trying to save and I don’t feel like I am getting anywhere even though I saved up. The more I save the higher the housing market gets. I am starting to get the I don’t care attitude. Halloween time starts September 1st for me. I want to experience all the fun Halloween events, try all the festive foods, and just have fun. Still, I can’t believe how expensive it is to eat out these days. But, I still want to go out and eat delicious food and just enjoy life. Balance is important but I tend to be off-balance lately. Either I spend too much or nothing at all.
I feel like this recurring theme keeps coming up and it is the concept of time. How time goes by so fast. I already feel this way but it is being reiterated to me by so many. It keeps coming into conversation with customers. I feel this pressure in my heart and my shoulders. I am running out of time. I am trying to not panic but I can’t but feel that I still haven’t done so much.
Do you ever feel like you are running out of time? I keep thinking about everything I’ve wanted to accomplish but at the same time … I tell myself oh well. This isn’t a good attitude but I am tired and jaded.