It has been an odd week. My moods have been swiveling up and down. I spent a couple of days sick. No, not covid. Just an annoying cold. My head was fuzzy, my ears were blocked, and my nose was really runny. I had honey with tea, and that made it worse. I think I have a honey allergy. To make it worse, I started feeling lethargic for a few days. My mind felt fuzzy, and I felt depressed. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was when I felt so much peace just a couple of days ago. To top it off, the world was sharing their New Years’ resolution, and I had none. I was happy not to have. If I want to do something, then I do it now, not when the New Year comes, but still, I felt empty, like I was behind in life. I thought, “Frshta, you need to have some goals.” I didn’t, though, and I started to feel just sad about it. Every year I set goals, and I only accomplish some of them. I am very proud of the things I did this past year, but it has nothing to do with a New Years’ resolution; it was just things I decided to do. I have long-term goals I have had for a while, but I don’t see any path toward them, so I have just let it be. For example, I want to leave my restaurant job, but I don’t see how it’s possible. I need the money, and the income for my house that I have accepted isn’t going to happen.
All of this just bummed me out more. I spent a lot of time in my bed doing nothing. My mind and my body needed to recover.
So here I am. I feel better today. I have been walking on the treadmill, but I haven’t done any crazy workouts because I don’t want to overexert my body since I just got over getting sick. My mental health is okay. I am just taking it day by day. That is all I can do.
It is raining in Los Angeles. Roads are flooding and everyone is unprepared for it.